The unidentifiable beauty of stubbornness
I do realize that it’s not a bad thing in general. It could even have a rather positive influence on reaching the goals you’ve set, that stubbornness that is probably hiding in all of us. The choice of taking advice from people with more experience, however, could be a better option. It’s absolutely normal to be blessed with stubbornness as a student or a young adult, but at some point in life there comes an end to forgiveness of all the stupidly made mistakes just because you thought you knew better.
I’m not a big believer of the educational system, as designed ages ago, in which all should learn the same things in the same way. Sure there’s a need for schools to teach the young ones to read, write, calculate and some basics of biology, physics and history. When these basics are taught with some enthusiasm by an inspirational teacher, the interest in learning more will become a natural effect. The things that really matter are better learned from people with experience, even better, from people who made mistakes so you won’t make them out of naivety or just lack of knowledge. I learned a trade by just looking, listening and copying one of the best craftsmen in the field, trusted his advice and absorbed his knowledge, practiced for many years with “the master” looking over my shoulder. The reward was an introduction to the guild and finally (after 15 years) becoming better than my teacher, even voted as the best in the trade by all other members of the guild. No school or educational institute could ever bring you that far ahead, the system isn’t designed for individual growth.
When I arrived in Portugal it felt like being that unknowing student again, although with one different mindset. The stubbornness was traded in for a healthy way of classifying (well meant) advice into categories like useful, unwanted, appreciated information and light bulb remarks. For sure, I still made (make) a lot of mistakes, but far less of the preventable ones, already made by others. Times changed, the internet made information widely available but likewise did all “opinions” of people only partly knowledgeable of the facts. Lately, I start to believe that there’s a big crowd out there with a new kind of talent, the ability to live around the set markers by lawmakers and a having a natural explanation, of reversed blaming others, for mistakes and stubbornly waved away advice from people with actual knowledge and experience. Social media seems the best way to find the wanted answer to your question nowadays, you just scroll through the “opinions” until you find the one that you think will work best in your own world. A lot of questions out there are legitimate “first-time immigrant” searches for solutions, although one could ask first whether the answers will differ much from the ones “back home”. This beautiful country is not on another planet although it has its own cultural ways of dealing with permits, paperwork and some silly explanations of European or international laws.
The big advantage for “freshly arrived” immigrants is that there are others around who went through the process before, some even a few decades ago. If you want to start a business, there’s always somebody around that concurred the windmill of bureaucracy. When you want to start a B&B or a “retreat”, there are many with lots of knowledge about the rules, customs, and laws, you are not the first. When you want to restore or rebuild a house, the options to get information from people who have the experience are overwhelming and it only takes an afternoon in the sun and a few glasses of wine to get to know all the ins and outs about whether your “alterations” will need to be accompanied by that big “Aviso” poster on the wall or not. Of course, there’s always that option to look for the easiest “opinions” and walk through the “sunshine dream life” blindfolded. So many seem to have that talent nowadays, sadly I’m not blessed with those skills. There are many roads from A to B. The fastest will probably come with electronic toll-ports but at least it’s flattened and even has its own breakdown service. The smaller ones are more adventures but even on the meandering mountain roads, you could be stopped by the police, or even worse, encounter a badly directed detour. Once that sign “Desvio” is put up, it could stay there for a long time.
By heart, most of us know, what’s right, logical and safe. Some just have more experience than others, knowing the difference between restoring and rebuilding, some might even be capable of calculating the downside force when changing certain materials in a structure. One thing we all understand is that you can’t solve structural problems with some plaster and a coat of paint in the same way that you can’t cure mental problems with another bottle of Scotch. The world will look alright, but it will just last for a small period of time before the bad influences on the foundation are back to haunt you. Society, over years, came up with rules and laws to prevent people from making mistakes and putting themselves in danger or finding themselves in situations that ruin the pleasure of being on a journey, chasing a dream. It’s just not preferable to live in a film set, how beautiful it may be, because it wasn’t built to last.
There’s a big difference in having a dream and a well thought-over calculated (business) plan. I’m not one of those capable of calculating everything upfront, certainly not the external influences that could have a variety of outcomes. Some people claim they can and even made it into their job teaching people how to be successful. Back in the days I didn’t follow dreams, I just did what I thought was right with a big dose of enthusiasm and somehow that worked out pretty good, I guess mainly because I incorporated all the knowledge and advice given to me by people who actually had experience. Although my parents and (some) teachers equipped me with a solid foundation, there are still certain pressures that seem to be a heavy load. It’s like the feeling you get when seeing a builder putting a heavy concrete slab on dry-stone walls, you know they will hold but also realize that the weight will push them firmly together and therefore force them downwards, the cracks will be randomly revealing themselves over years to come. Once you live in that structure, you will be forced to repair, over and over again, just get used to it and tolerate the cracks or get to the roots of the problem, ergo, undo the mistake made out of nativity or false trust in the ones that claimed to know. I’m walking around with a few cracks, hell yes, even a few scars to show my former stubbornness. I’m fully aware that the limit of weight that my foundation can support is more than it was made for. I need to decide which layer of structural down-force I need to get rid of every time I encounter something new.
I’m not one of those men, reluctant to seek help or advice from others, although it’s hard in this modern world to find the right answers. I know that a mushroom ceremony doesn’t solve the problems of your bank account, no matter how deep I’m able to meditate into the area of nothing, it doesn’t scare the worldly cracks away. I lost faith, or rather never believed, in the fairy-tales of those who offer solutions based on lifetime experience and some dodgy school certificate which entitles them to charge for their advice. Oh yes, I had a clarifying conversation on a cafe terrace, occupied by “immigrants” on a certain day of the week, with a “life coach” who actually cried and shouted out loud that life, and especially the circumstances in Portugal, were so unkind to her. Before she walked away she gave me her business card….
After living for more than a decade on the lonesome hill in central Portugal, I slowly start to understand the reasons behind annoying rules and “silly” laws. They are there to protect people from making lifetime affecting mistakes and most of all calculated naive decisions. I know we should be allowed to make our own mistakes but there’s nothing wrong with listening to people who work with these rules and laws on a daily bases. The impact of social media, for sure, needs a lot of attention too. There are so many positive consequences that can make life easier but there are equal amounts of negative side-effects. The groups on Facebook, for instance, where people with a certain background or mutual ideas find each other in groups for “expats”, immigrants etc. is a basket full of answers to people’s questions, whereby it takes a lot of common sense to filter out the serious remarks from the personal “opinions”, although it is obvious that “I did it that way and got away with it, so just do it, this is Portugal” or “It’s your property so do whatever you like”, shouldn’t even be considered to be answers! Nevertheless, if you’re taking on a project without an “aviso” although it’s clear that you should have one, at least don’t share the pictures on social media!
As a life-coach shouldn’t make clear that she or he hasn’t any control over her or his own life, while giving you a business-card that claims that they are able to get your life back on track, it isn’t very smart to rebuild or restore your house without the proper calculations, claiming it’s just your escape route to a better life, while at the same time advertising it as a commercial business. There are a lot of different rules for commercial property and some experienced people, who went through that process, could tell you all about it, you just have to listen to their advice. It could take a while, but at some point, some randomly showing up “inspector” will tell you to shut it down. It’s not that it didn’t happen before. Negative advice can be good advice, it doesn’t always mean that people are rude. I’m still looking for answers, and if they are based on facts, no matter how uncomfortable they might seem, I will take them to implement in my own situation. I’m still a bit stubborn in a way, singing my mushroom ceremony blues, but that doesn’t mean I enjoy watching people make the mistakes, me, and so many others made before them. They shouldn’t have to take future cracking decisions and grow new scars, believe me, they can itch like hell….
I’m not a big believer of the educational system, as designed ages ago, in which all should learn the same things in the same way. Sure there’s a need for schools to teach the young ones to read, write, calculate and some basics of biology, physics and history. When these basics are taught with some enthusiasm by an inspirational teacher, the interest in learning more will become a natural effect. The things that really matter are better learned from people with experience, even better, from people who made mistakes so you won’t make them out of naivety or just lack of knowledge. I learned a trade by just looking, listening and copying one of the best craftsmen in the field, trusted his advice and absorbed his knowledge, practiced for many years with “the master” looking over my shoulder. The reward was an introduction to the guild and finally (after 15 years) becoming better than my teacher, even voted as the best in the trade by all other members of the guild. No school or educational institute could ever bring you that far ahead, the system isn’t designed for individual growth.
When I arrived in Portugal it felt like being that unknowing student again, although with one different mindset. The stubbornness was traded in for a healthy way of classifying (well meant) advice into categories like useful, unwanted, appreciated information and light bulb remarks. For sure, I still made (make) a lot of mistakes, but far less of the preventable ones, already made by others. Times changed, the internet made information widely available but likewise did all “opinions” of people only partly knowledgeable of the facts. Lately, I start to believe that there’s a big crowd out there with a new kind of talent, the ability to live around the set markers by lawmakers and a having a natural explanation, of reversed blaming others, for mistakes and stubbornly waved away advice from people with actual knowledge and experience. Social media seems the best way to find the wanted answer to your question nowadays, you just scroll through the “opinions” until you find the one that you think will work best in your own world. A lot of questions out there are legitimate “first-time immigrant” searches for solutions, although one could ask first whether the answers will differ much from the ones “back home”. This beautiful country is not on another planet although it has its own cultural ways of dealing with permits, paperwork and some silly explanations of European or international laws.
The big advantage for “freshly arrived” immigrants is that there are others around who went through the process before, some even a few decades ago. If you want to start a business, there’s always somebody around that concurred the windmill of bureaucracy. When you want to start a B&B or a “retreat”, there are many with lots of knowledge about the rules, customs, and laws, you are not the first. When you want to restore or rebuild a house, the options to get information from people who have the experience are overwhelming and it only takes an afternoon in the sun and a few glasses of wine to get to know all the ins and outs about whether your “alterations” will need to be accompanied by that big “Aviso” poster on the wall or not. Of course, there’s always that option to look for the easiest “opinions” and walk through the “sunshine dream life” blindfolded. So many seem to have that talent nowadays, sadly I’m not blessed with those skills. There are many roads from A to B. The fastest will probably come with electronic toll-ports but at least it’s flattened and even has its own breakdown service. The smaller ones are more adventures but even on the meandering mountain roads, you could be stopped by the police, or even worse, encounter a badly directed detour. Once that sign “Desvio” is put up, it could stay there for a long time.
By heart, most of us know, what’s right, logical and safe. Some just have more experience than others, knowing the difference between restoring and rebuilding, some might even be capable of calculating the downside force when changing certain materials in a structure. One thing we all understand is that you can’t solve structural problems with some plaster and a coat of paint in the same way that you can’t cure mental problems with another bottle of Scotch. The world will look alright, but it will just last for a small period of time before the bad influences on the foundation are back to haunt you. Society, over years, came up with rules and laws to prevent people from making mistakes and putting themselves in danger or finding themselves in situations that ruin the pleasure of being on a journey, chasing a dream. It’s just not preferable to live in a film set, how beautiful it may be, because it wasn’t built to last.
There’s a big difference in having a dream and a well thought-over calculated (business) plan. I’m not one of those capable of calculating everything upfront, certainly not the external influences that could have a variety of outcomes. Some people claim they can and even made it into their job teaching people how to be successful. Back in the days I didn’t follow dreams, I just did what I thought was right with a big dose of enthusiasm and somehow that worked out pretty good, I guess mainly because I incorporated all the knowledge and advice given to me by people who actually had experience. Although my parents and (some) teachers equipped me with a solid foundation, there are still certain pressures that seem to be a heavy load. It’s like the feeling you get when seeing a builder putting a heavy concrete slab on dry-stone walls, you know they will hold but also realize that the weight will push them firmly together and therefore force them downwards, the cracks will be randomly revealing themselves over years to come. Once you live in that structure, you will be forced to repair, over and over again, just get used to it and tolerate the cracks or get to the roots of the problem, ergo, undo the mistake made out of nativity or false trust in the ones that claimed to know. I’m walking around with a few cracks, hell yes, even a few scars to show my former stubbornness. I’m fully aware that the limit of weight that my foundation can support is more than it was made for. I need to decide which layer of structural down-force I need to get rid of every time I encounter something new.
I’m not one of those men, reluctant to seek help or advice from others, although it’s hard in this modern world to find the right answers. I know that a mushroom ceremony doesn’t solve the problems of your bank account, no matter how deep I’m able to meditate into the area of nothing, it doesn’t scare the worldly cracks away. I lost faith, or rather never believed, in the fairy-tales of those who offer solutions based on lifetime experience and some dodgy school certificate which entitles them to charge for their advice. Oh yes, I had a clarifying conversation on a cafe terrace, occupied by “immigrants” on a certain day of the week, with a “life coach” who actually cried and shouted out loud that life, and especially the circumstances in Portugal, were so unkind to her. Before she walked away she gave me her business card….
After living for more than a decade on the lonesome hill in central Portugal, I slowly start to understand the reasons behind annoying rules and “silly” laws. They are there to protect people from making lifetime affecting mistakes and most of all calculated naive decisions. I know we should be allowed to make our own mistakes but there’s nothing wrong with listening to people who work with these rules and laws on a daily bases. The impact of social media, for sure, needs a lot of attention too. There are so many positive consequences that can make life easier but there are equal amounts of negative side-effects. The groups on Facebook, for instance, where people with a certain background or mutual ideas find each other in groups for “expats”, immigrants etc. is a basket full of answers to people’s questions, whereby it takes a lot of common sense to filter out the serious remarks from the personal “opinions”, although it is obvious that “I did it that way and got away with it, so just do it, this is Portugal” or “It’s your property so do whatever you like”, shouldn’t even be considered to be answers! Nevertheless, if you’re taking on a project without an “aviso” although it’s clear that you should have one, at least don’t share the pictures on social media!
As a life-coach shouldn’t make clear that she or he hasn’t any control over her or his own life, while giving you a business-card that claims that they are able to get your life back on track, it isn’t very smart to rebuild or restore your house without the proper calculations, claiming it’s just your escape route to a better life, while at the same time advertising it as a commercial business. There are a lot of different rules for commercial property and some experienced people, who went through that process, could tell you all about it, you just have to listen to their advice. It could take a while, but at some point, some randomly showing up “inspector” will tell you to shut it down. It’s not that it didn’t happen before. Negative advice can be good advice, it doesn’t always mean that people are rude. I’m still looking for answers, and if they are based on facts, no matter how uncomfortable they might seem, I will take them to implement in my own situation. I’m still a bit stubborn in a way, singing my mushroom ceremony blues, but that doesn’t mean I enjoy watching people make the mistakes, me, and so many others made before them. They shouldn’t have to take future cracking decisions and grow new scars, believe me, they can itch like hell….
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